Revising writing

On Saturday I was at my Papa's, and Aunts, and Uncles, house getting ready for Halloween. When I saw my papa was dressed up in a spooky zombie I was dressed up as a purple bat.  I was ready for Halloween. Me and my Papa were going around the houses asking for lollies .

Once I went to a house that was very black and very spooky my Papa got scared I told him don’t worry It's just a house  full of dickarayshions . There  Were  spiderwebs and bats and witch dickarayshions I knocked on the door and out came a ghost a man and a lady gave us sweets yummy happy trical treat I said to them next I went down to another house that wasn't spooky as it was

It only had spiders and black a black witch’s  broom I knocked on the door and out came a black witch the lady gave us chocolate and chocolate candy pumpkins .

When we stopped at kings road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu they were going trical treating for yummy treats me and my Papa were walking to Zara we asked could we come with you to get yummy treats they said yes When we stopped down at the cafe we had a hot chocolate and a strawberry cupcake Than we went back down to costs cress  to go to other houses for trick or treating  

When we saw another house that was even scarier I said happy trinkil treat and out came a spider the man gave us lollies  and chocolate it was fun at halloween. than it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies .   

My Edited Piece of Writing

On saturday I was at my Papa's, Aunt’s and Uncle’s house getting ready for halloween. When I saw my Papa he was dressed into a spooky zombie. I was dressed up as a purple bat.  I was ready for Halloween. Me and my Papa were going around the houses asking for lollies. We went to a house that was very dark and the house was very spooky. My Papa got scared I told him not to worry because It's just a house full of decoration. There were spiderwebs and bats and witch decorations. Then I knocked on the door and a man dressed like a ghost came out and with a lady and the lady gave us some sweets.I said Happy Halloween I said to her. Next we went down to another house that wasn't as spooky as the house we saw before. I knocked on the door and out came a lady dressed up like a witch gave us chocolate and chocolate candy pumpkins. When we stopped at Kings road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu they were going trick or treating for yummy treats me and  my Papa were walking to Zara we asked could we come with you to get yummy treats they said yes When we stopped down at the cafe we had a hot chocolate and a strawberry cupcake Than we went back down to coral cress to other houses for trick or treating

When we saw another house that was even scarier I said happy Halloween and out came a spider the man gave us lollies  and chocolate. It was fun at Halloween. Than it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies .   

Yesterday and today I was working with my partner Najib and sanujan . We had to read over the piece of writing. Sanujan and I , Najib we had to fix up the mistakes which didn't have a comer, Apostrophe and including full stops as well as sentences.